Is anyone actually reading this shit?

I guess I have a fear of never being heard and maybe this is an effort in futility...The "blog". Even the word is slightly annoying. blog. I haven't studied the etymology of the word, but it's my guess that wherever it came from, the word "narcissism" is sure to follow. I always resisted in setting one up for that reason. Who the hell wants to hear me talk about inane topics relating primarily to me? As many of you know, I am a talker and perhaps (especially after a stiff martini) a bit long winded but I feel that this "blog" could very well be my "new" therapy. After bidding "adieu" to my trusty therapist in Boulder, I needed a more reliable outlet per se. I have collectively been in therapy for over twenty years now and before you gasp, let me explain. It wasn't that I had insurmountable "issues", we all have them, I kinda liked having a person for hire who couldn't awkwardly say "excuse me but I have to use the bathroom" while I am in mid sentence about my horrific elementary school experiences or awkward adolescent trauma or any other seemingly incidental moment in my life. They had to listen and analyze even if it killed them. Mind you, I recently had a therapist who I could only see at 9pm on Mondays because for whatever reason the entire town of Boulder had occupied earlier slots. Anyway, he would nod off at times. Yeah, at 120.00/hr I was essentially paying to watch him slump in his oversize chair and then jerk his head suddenly returning to consciousness. At the worst times too, he would seemingly doze off. Once, while I was reaching what they call in the therapy world "a break-through", the proverbial "ah ha" moment about a pretty big issue I was having, he started "the nod". I felt horrible and somewhat pathetic that my very own therapist was going into the Freudian dreamworld. What irony. I left feeling a little defeated and as my 7th grade math teacher exclaimed in a booming, scathing voice once upon a time, "Trish, write a book, we don't care...". Ouch. I have usually been able to take every ounce of humility that comes my way pretty well (wink) despite but this was down right humiliating as well as a waste of time. I did severe my relationship with "Rip Van Winkle" the therapist and now all I have left is my little blog (tear). I may butcher syntax and grammar/punctuation because damnit, this is my blog. I know the proper use of the colon and semi-colon, etc. but hey, if Faulkner or Stein can eliminate conventional punctuation, then fuck, so can I. It's my space. Not MySpace but you get it. I've gone off on another tangent..woohooo!!! Anywaaaay, It's my ideal forum perhaps, an unconditional ear to spout my BS to, no matter how unwanted or "weird". So, welcome to my twisted mind, it'll only get more warped. Thanks for your time. See you tomorrow, but I tire easily, so who knows.