Holidays come and go

In the last week, I have sustained a huge blizzard, no internet/cable and hosting my future in-laws for Christmas. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I have always been the "guest" at Christmas and now I know what my mother does every year, on a larger scale no less.

I had a wonderful time this year, don't get me wrong, but there is always this invisible force that stresses me out: did I buy enough? did I totally disappoint people? did I, did I, did I?

I can't completely escape that feeling during this time of year. I always wish I could give more of myself or that "perfect" gift that will make the recipient feel that much more appreciated. Perhaps I over-think it, but I always have felt I disappoint, so it naturally follows that the one time of year when people are supposed to be "rewarded" by virtue of a wrapped package, I can't help but wonder if I really am doing enough the entire year or is my stress about a perfect gift really just a subconscious fear of inadequacy? I guess I'll always have guilt of some kind and perhaps I should just accept this anxiety as just that: "anxiety" in a time that warrants it.

For now, good night.