Chiefs can't lose in this house.....

We are cruel dog owners..I know. We bought Jax this stuffed football with legs for Christmas and although you can't see, he's almost ripped both legs off. The Jersey, mine courtesy of Chas.

Go Chiefs...

Finally got out of the house today

Chas and I took Jax for a run this afternoon and shot video with our camera. It's amazing that our new digi-camera can take up to 1.5 hours of video. I am trying to figure out how to link video..not extremely sure I can do it here. But here's what today looked like. It was beautiful. I have so much still to read about with our new camera..so these are just little experiments. I personally like the Jax action shots. For those of you out-of-towners, the mountain shown here is Pikes Peak behind our house...quite an amazing view. We almost always can see storms brewing on top and the panoramic view while I have my morning coffee is spectacular. I am not sure I could ever leave Colorado when I am reminded what is in my backyard (well, aside from the conservatives lurking, but that's another subject).

Ok...

My last post was a bit of a downer..Sorry. I am now working from home due to another impending blizzard. This is crazy. I must say, I am impressed with my little car. It has manoeuvred around without getting stuck, not even a little. Amazed am I. I see these huge SUV's peeling by me only to skid or slip along with their false senses of security. Idiots.

Well, back to work. More interesting stuff will follow soon I hope. I am in a bit of a "rant" slump at the moment.

Holidays come and go

In the last week, I have sustained a huge blizzard, no internet/cable and hosting my future in-laws for Christmas. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I have always been the "guest" at Christmas and now I know what my mother does every year, on a larger scale no less.

I had a wonderful time this year, don't get me wrong, but there is always this invisible force that stresses me out: did I buy enough? did I totally disappoint people? did I, did I, did I?

I can't completely escape that feeling during this time of year. I always wish I could give more of myself or that "perfect" gift that will make the recipient feel that much more appreciated. Perhaps I over-think it, but I always have felt I disappoint, so it naturally follows that the one time of year when people are supposed to be "rewarded" by virtue of a wrapped package, I can't help but wonder if I really am doing enough the entire year or is my stress about a perfect gift really just a subconscious fear of inadequacy? I guess I'll always have guilt of some kind and perhaps I should just accept this anxiety as just that: "anxiety" in a time that warrants it.

For now, good night.

NYC club scene mourns the loss of another coke whore

I know I watch/read a lot of tabloid “junk”, especially when I have a down moment at work. What can I say? I am a mere sociologist who soaks up what the media spits out and tries to find any relevance. I've stumbled upon something recently that I am having a hard time wondering why anyone would give a shit about:

Tara Conner

I found the news conference on the fate of Miss USA’s crown to be a hilarious and yet pathetic example of how skewed the media is with reference to priority news. It also peaked my interest how her tearful press conference just solidifies the notion that we are all sorry once we're caught. She's 21. How is she supposed to carry such "responsibility" when she hasn't even grown up. Puh-lease. Sympathy lost.

here's the press conference, you can see for yourself:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061219/ap_on_en_ot/trump_miss_usa

Back to the fact that this news story was just about everywhere across the internet today. It was like the world stopped and wept for Tara.

(Stiffling vomit, excuse me for a moment)

While men are presumed dead atop Mt. Hood and the escalation in Iraq has raised historical questions of the fate of our nation, we have little miss Tara Conner sobbing to Donald Trump in front of countless reporters about how grateful she is to have this opportunity not stripped from her due to her partying ways. It was like the girl pleading with daddy that she honestly didn’t mean to wind up snorting coke off a male stripper’s abs at a night club in NY. Well, I only assume she did such a thing. Coke and men were among her many rumored indiscretions.

Look, I think celebrity “flubs” are humorous and usually give me a warm fuzzy seeing the rich and famous crawl to the proverbial toilet of despair and humiliation because suffering is universal and who shouldn’t suffer like the rich and famous from time to time? BUT, these pathetic stories should never eclipse the real issues and news no matter how juicy they are.

To add insult to injury, Tara Conner was a top search for the day on Yahoo. TOP SEARCH?! Not Darfur, not the worsening situation in Iraq, not even “what to get my sweetheart for Christmas?” Pathetic. I only noticed because I was checking my fantasy football score, but that’s beside the point. Fact is, Americans are only interested in what we are given. Surely, if Bush had his way, he would shield us entirely from the truth in Iraq and just give us "Tara Connor" stories in an endless loop instead of news. "Oh, the war in Iraq? It's been downgraded to a regional "conflict" (wink) but did you hear about Tara Conner?!"

I think it’s a sad commentary that we are supposed to empathize with a 21-year-old hick-chick-turned beauty queen from Kentucky who got a taste of the big apple and in essence it got a taste of her. Isn’t that a terrible cliché of “making it” big and then finding social demons ever-present and ever tasty and then fumbling with regret? Spare me the rhetoric and Britney-esque tale.

I am not saying that the news should always avoid the bubble-gum and TomKat baby news or even the latest Paris escapade at Taco Bell. All I am saying is that maybe the Tara Conner story should have been a byline of a byline of a byline tucked away with all the other ever so unimportant drug binges of her famous counterparts. Priorities.

As Tara Conner shuffles off to an infamous rehab clinic, we all will rest knowing that she is “truly sorry, and thankful to the Donald for her second chance”. Puke.

Funny things I saw or heard today at the 2006 Apartment Association Annual Christmas Luncheon

1) "I've seen enough vagina for today..." Yes, it's true, I actually heard this today by another woman I met at this "luncheon" and if you want the full story you have to ask me personally.

Update: This manager of a very respected, expensive apartment community was extremely drunk at the after party and proceeded to show us her lady "business" inadvertantly as we sat near by. After it was brought to her attention, she proceeded to do it again and again. Not to mention, her black wrap dress was falling off of her and she was extremely cozy with my boss, Rebecca. Uncomfortable! I always feel embarrassed for people and this took the proverbial "cake". I crossed her assistant in the hallway on her way out and her response to me saying, "leaving so soon?" was the previous comment. Needless to say, the inappropriate woman mentioned above will live in shame for quite a while.

2) The worst hairstyles I have ever seen. It appeared these women were reliving the Melanie Griffith "Working Woman" pompadour. Yikes.

3) Flashback to 1989 and it was here. Leggings, lots of leggings. Jeeeeez, did these people just come out of a vault or what? I felt like I was in a time-warp.

4) The worst comedian I have ever heard. If I had a dollar for every child support joke he made...I'd be, well, wearing better shoes. Did I mention this was an Apartment Association luncheon I was forced to go to?!

5) I mentioned bad hair, but I didn't mention a lot of alcoholics apparently run property management companies? Fucking crazies, I tell you.

6) I actually helped a motorized wheel chair lady into a bathroom stall. She mentioned it was a new wheel chair and she still was learning the functions. I can't exactly just let someone struggle, but I must say, I felt pretty good doing this for someone. Especially since I was only in the restroom looking for my cell phone to begin with. I scored serious "karmic" points.

Wtf #45

So I am in the liquor store tonight after work when I am jerked back in time with this little nugget of Christmas:

http://www.minibite.com/christmas/hippo.htm

I used to laugh my ass off at this song. Maybe because it so completely supports my theory that Christmas songs are retarded, idealistic and improbable.



Thank you for tuning in.

John Madden Popcorn Popper

can't get enough of this guy

Mad TV-John Madden on Ellen

I love impersonators, in case you haven't noticed

Funny thing I saw today

Well, I found it amusing. I was running errands around town on my day off today and I found myself behind this woman, chain-smoking in a mini-van without a clue about the speed-limit and apparently, how to make a turn. She's trying to make a sharp right onto Platte Street only she doesn't realize she's teetering on the curb as she proceeds with the green light and her bumper slams down onto the curb. I hear the loud crunch and hear her exclaim "fucking curb" since her window is down from the Capri Light she has dangling from her lower lip. Funny she should blame the curb. Oh, and to typify this "what an idiot" moment, I glance down at her bumper and what a shock, she has a Bush-Cheney '04 sticker.

I guess one bad turn deserves another.

The softer side of me

Yes, it's true, I am not that cynical around the holidays. This weekend, Chas and I made an attempt at showing our holiday spirits by hanging lights on the little tree out front. It looks more like a few kids who haven't discovered spatial relationships hung them up but none the less, we now have a replica of "Charlie Brown's" tree in our front yard. It isn't as flamboyant as some of our neighbor's but at least we are conserving energy. Wasteful Republicans down here, ya know.

In addition, we took pictures for our Christmas card. I haven't sent a Christmas card in years because, again, I realize how much work goes into the simplest of gestures. This year was no different. I aptly chose a card where you can easily insert a photo. But I had to first generate a list of addresses I didn't have, bug people to get them and then put together the cards. Yes, I bought one that required a little assembly, not much, but a little. Then, I have to wait a week to get the proofs back of the pictures, choose the less embarassing one, affix a stamp and send before Christmas. It's taken me over a week to do all this. So, I quickly have realized that when all is said and done, it will have taken me weeks to complete. Jeeeeeeeeezus.

Onto another Christmas note....

Ever hear of an earworm? Well, it's sort of a technical term for music/jingles that get stuck in your ear and mind in an endless loop. This morning I woke up with the Amy Grant version of "It's the most wonderful time of the year". Why? I'll tell you. My office-mate, is VERY into all things Christmas and wants to listen to Christmas carols all day. Her preferece is either that or Rush Limbaugh's talk radio show. I'll take the carols as a "compromise" being the bleeding heart that I am. The result of my selfless and somewhat masochistic agreement is now, I have Burl Ives, Andy Williams and Perry Como sereneding me while I fumble my way through piles of paperwork on my desk. Not entirely "festive" while getting computer glare. Although, when the Karen Carpenter version of "I'll be home for Christmas" comes on, I "thrill" my co-workers with fun facts like "Did you know that when they did her autopsy, her heart was the consistency of applesauce?" It gets a priceless expression. Merry Christmas, guys.

Now, I have been nostalgic in the past about carols. I remember when my sisters and I would pile into her freezing cold, 1990 Civic late on Christmas Eve, drive back to my Mom's from my Dad's listening to the Peggy Lee classic "Rockin' around the Christmas Tree" while we envisioned the second load of gifts awaiting us. But now, I am associating these beloved carols with office work, deadlines and my horrible office chair and it has become the audio equivalent of Chinese water torture.

I make due, and actually sing along falsetto while I refill my stapler and check the clock repeatedly.

So, I think I am doing pretty good despite. I have lights up, carols blazing, cards a-mailing but haven't even started shopping. One thing at a time. Let's just hope I don't slip and fall and impale myself on an ornament when we put up our tree.

I just have the worst taste in humor

http://americanangst.com/dingfries.html

Watch this and see why. I guess I am the last person to have seen this. It apparently was sweeping the nation a few years ago. It's a catchy tune. Merry Christmas.